Lent

So I gave up drinking for lent, but then realized I'm a comedian. So... I gave up masturbating and porn. THey kind of go hand in hand (get it?)

so we'll see how that goes. It's not so bad, I've done it before. I can still have sex. Just lettin all you single chicks know. all you chicks who read this...

Ryan's yesterday

7:30 am - moved a couch (thanks newman)
9am - work
6:15 p.m. - got out of work
6:15 p.m. - gym
7 - moved couch upstairs (very small stairwell)
7:40 - made dinner
8 - ate dinner, watched two episodes of Extras
9 - stand up comedy at lucky strike
2am - got home from stand up, finished laundry
2:30 - dishes
3 - bed
8:30 - woke up for work.

The supreme crunchwrap

So a few posts back I described how nacho cheese is cheating at food. So check this out...

Last night on my way home from improv, I stopped at T bell for my uje (pronounced Yooj, as in hipster for usual): the double beefy cheesy burrito - meat, rice, nacho cheese and yes it's as good as it sounds. Most likely better. Like a warm Mexican dream on a beach in Mexico next to the Mexican ocean in your Mexican mouth. I also grab a crunchwrap supreme for dessert. Pretty standard fare - all the uje ingredients of anything at taco B: meat, cheese, sour cream, tomatoes, beans. Well, I was about to be disappointed that they didn't put enough meat on it, when it happened.

Garth (O.S.)
What happened?!

Lo and behold - I hit nacho cheese. Yes, nacho cheese on a crunchwrap supreme! Hot damn! Gobs of it! It... it was everywhere! I devoured the disc shaped mexican repast with fervor and whim, savoring every gob of delicious process cheese food, its flavor bouncing around, off each of the others, complementing... caressing... Exciting them!... as the crunchy-melty-cheesy-gooey-meaty-goodness-ness circled, churned, and descended to my yearning belly. I relished every last crumb and drop of the meal, fully knowing that this rare treat would soon be gone, the likes of which would not be seen again in many a drunk night. It made my evening. It was like discovering plutonium by accident! Like a night of unbridled and unprotected lust with a strange and beautiful woman with long hair and no gag reflex and finding out later that she's clean, not pregnant, and doesn't want a relationship... Like football season.



As I writhed in ecstasy and IBS while my entire digestive tract made love to the awesome Mexican morsel, I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever again have the absolute pleasure of discovering nacho cheese where it hadn't been before, but then, I fell asleep. So whoever screwed that order up, thank you. You are a true hero.

Dad's Got a Blog

Please check this out, and thank you for your continued support.

http://dadsgotninjas.blogspot.com/

Gettin better

last time i was on here... I forget what I wrote on here. But to give you an update, I have a job - as a PA working on Cougar Town, the new Bill Lawrence/Kevin Biegle/Courtney Cox pilot. It should be good for at least 2 months, but I'm hoping it lasts forever. If not, Dad's Got Ninjas would be my dream. We should get our confirmation soon. Cartoon Network needs to buy it and give us a deal for 24 episodes. That sounds right. I mean, why wouldn't they? THe merchandising alone would raise astronomical moolah. The last time somebody created a show about ninjas it was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So I've heard of that. I think this is gonna be the same. It has the potential. And our world is huge, awesome, and funny. I've been feeling better. Probably from the having a job thing. At work, we get about 8 calls per day asking if we're hiring. It's a little daunting. Dad's Got Ninjas can't come soon enough. Keep writing.

cheating at food

Nacho Cheese: You can put this on anything you want, and it just makes it awesome. All that gooey yum. It also works for dipping, but it's most effective when you smother the subject food in it.

Deep frying: Also makes everything better. The other night I had a Chimichanga, which is a deep fried burrito. On it's own the burrito would have been amazing. Now to take something awesome and deep fry it, well, that's next to godliness. It's just really nice. It's like great sex, and then getting paid for it. ... maybe it's not. But it was really nice of them to go that extra mile and deep fry my burrito. Also works well with Snickers, Oreos, twinkies, chicken wings, tacos, burgers, snadwiches, fruits, vegetables, ice cream, fish, chicken, meatloaf, dough, candy, hot dogs, meatballs, soda, yes soda, potatoes, onion rings, cheese, pickles, you get the idea.

Deep Fried Nacho Cheese. I'm on it.

I just used a one-sided toothpick. Why? Why would they only have one end be usable? the other end is just this useless nub. wth? it's exactly half as effective as a regular toothpick. Sometimes I feel like a one-ended toothpick.

That really escalated quickly

My stand up on Wednesday was awesome. Also, this guy was in the audience:



He loves to laugh. Cool guy. You seriously couldn't even tell he could kill you.

I have a job interview tomorrow with Prosthetic Records. I'm interviewing for the director of publicity. It's a heavy metal label, boasting some awesome bands including Lamb of God, All That Remains, Gojira, and Skeletonwitch, which in fact is not meat in between two Skeletons.

Seriously, though it would be pretty sweet to get paid to go to metal shows and make the bands look cool. Like they don't already right?

And then my dad and my uncle came to visit, and we went to the supercross in Anaheim. It was awesome!!! Sold out 60,000 plus tickets. It was like a football game. And the racers delivered. The races were great. It was a pretty extreme week. My dad was pissed that LA had the same weather as Rochester when he was here. It rains sometimes. My apartment has an echo.

jobbin

I got the UTA job list today and spent the last 5 hours applying for them. I think I applied to about 15 of them. Hopefully something will bite. Wait, something already bites.

So you may be asking why it took me 5 hours to apply for 15 jobs...

well, 1) I'm ryan.
2) ryan is slow
3)i intermingled some "research" and came upon this:




yes, some genius set the entirety of Milo and Otis to Sigur Ros songs. Now, Sigur Ros has some pretty sick videos, i'm not arguing that. But seriously, a kitten and puppy Icelandic post-rock Opera?!?!?! well that just rings all sorts of bells on varios places of my being.


5) I made coffee, and a ham and egg bagel sandwich. it was on an everything bagel.


mine didn't have cheese on it. I have cheese, just wasn't feeling it this morning.
6) took a shower
7) email and facebook stuff, including uploading a video. Just a heads up, facebook sucks for uploading videos.
9) cover letters. For the most part I used a form cover letter, but in this case, I made them pretty detailed - especially for the ones I thought i had a real shot at and sounded most interesting to me. All they have to do is give me the opportunity to meet them and they're mine. mwooohahahahahaha. ?
8) my landlord came over to do an inspection. This actually saved me from going to the post office to drop off the rent check. You may ask why it's the 4th and I hadn't mailed the rent check yet. That's a whole other list.

I'm gonna go check the mail